Elephants and Tea - June 2022 - 9

RESILIENT Dear Cancer...
the ones I cannot remember anymore. If
we refer back to my sister for a moment,
I know as we grew older, we became very
good friends, but I have little memory of
us growing up together other than pictures
and stories.
The memories I have from my school
days are not good ones. That pity I mentioned
earlier, came tenfold from classmates'
parents. I was like a china doll. I felt
that my peers were only friendly because
their parents took pity on me. Some were
jealous because I received extra help, they
did not understand how a brain tumor
affects learning. I am grateful for my best
friend of 27 years. She never judged nor
questioned me when my physical or mental
challenges presented themselves.
Cancer, this rant brings me to another
grievance, all the things I had to learn or
relearn. I had to relearn how to ride a bike
three times. Every time I thought you were
gone, you came back. It was as if you came
back just to wipe my memory clean. You
stood there laughing just to see if I could
learn it all again.
As an adult now, I am just learning
that all my trials and learning disabilities
in school lie under the title of executive
functioning. These are things most kids
develop at, you guessed it, ages four, five,
and six. There you are again, Cancer, another
interruption in my life. Your timing
is incredible.
What skills did you affect exactly? Let's
start with my ability to multitask. I don't
drive. I have found ways to work around
this inconvenience. For instance, rideshares
and public transit help me maneuver
through my city. You, Cancer, threw this
roadblock of multitasking and divided
attention into my path making things difficult
to navigate. Maybe not impossible,
but difficult enough to cause me anxiety
and exhaustion.
I love to read but my reading speed is
about 90 percent slower than that of my
peers. One adaptation I picked up on my
journey has been audiobooks. Accommodations
such as untimed testing, enlarged
paperwork, and an assistant to help read
content were also implemented in my
learning. Alas, a door was left open for ridicule
by my peers. It has taken a long time,
but I have finally come to the realization
that the blame should not be placed on my
tormentors, but on you, Cancer.
Finally, Cancer, you have taken one of
my dearest friends. A friend who was full
of life. He was far too young to be one of
your casualties. His spirit stretched as far
as the ocean. He once shared his thoughts
regarding you, Cancer.
" When you're sailing, you must work
with what you're given. You can't control
the weather, but you can adapt to it. It's a
similar thing with cancer. Things happen
that aren't planned, as in the cancer itself.
You need to deal with it, you need to move
on, and just go with it. "
I have detailed all the things you have
taken from me. Now, Cancer, let me discuss
the opportunities that have arisen in my
life despite you.
I am an adult, now in my thirties. I am
four feet, seven-and-a-half inches. By the
way, I guess I should thank you for the
height-no one ever guesses my true age.
I graduated from Anna Maria College
with a Bachelor's in Art Therapy in four
years. So, take that, Cancer! I have also
successfully held employment for 10 years
(with a little help here and there when
needed).
I have had great opportunities to join
a caring community including attending
Paul Newman's Hole in the Wall Gang
Camp six years in a row (a camp for children
with serious illnesses). I have spent
three summers sailing on the Harvey Gamage,
an old-fashioned schooner-another
opportunity made possible by the Hole in
the Wall Gang Camp and Ocean Classroom.
It is upon this experience I wrote
my college essay, comparing sailing to
my cancer journey. These are some of the
many adventures where lasting friendships
were made.
You know, Cancer, other opportunities
have presented themselves in your wake. I
had the privilege to go on a pilgrimage to
Lourdes, France, with the Knights of Malta,
courtesy of the Hole In the Wall Gang
Camp. In 2014, I was given the opportunity
to attend the Stupid Cancer Summit in Las
Vegas. The recent pandemic allowed me
to connect with old friends as well as new
friends through the Stupid Cancer and
Elephants and Tea programs.
You need to know, Cancer, that I blame
you! Even now as an adult, you still threaten
me. Last summer in 2021, just as the
world was getting back to normal, you
showed up in another form, Breast Cancer.
I am now a little over six months out from
DCIF Breast Cancer surgery and have a
follow-up next month. It seems you will
always be there, lurking in the darkest
shadows of my brain. Well, I won't let you
define me. I didn't at age five, and I won't
let you now. I did not order you; you did
not come with a return policy. So, Cancer,
you will sit in the attic gathering dust.
A Very Dissatisfied Customer,
- Ellen Rose
ELLEN ROSE O'BRIEN IS FROM MELROSE, MASSACHUSETTS, JUST NORTH OF THE BOSTON AREA.
SHE IS A SURVIVOR OF A CHILDHOOD BRAIN TUMOR AND ADULT BREAST CANCER. O'BRIEN
ENJOYS READING. HER FAVORITE AUTHOR IS JANET EVANOVICH. IN ADDITION TO WRITING,
SHE ALSO LOVES ART. VISITING ART MUSEUMS AND CREATING HER OWN ART ARE JUST TWO
WAYS SHE HAS FOUND TO FULFILL HER LOVE FOR THE SUBJECT.
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JUNE 2022
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Elephants and Tea - June 2022

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