Elephants and Tea - March 2023 - 28

Healing & Grief THE POWER OF CONNECTION
You Are Not Alone,
and I Love You, Too
BY MAHWISH SYED
I recently watched the journalist and
author, Johann Hari's TED Talk on addiction.
Why am I bringing this up in
relation to cancer survivorship? I will tell
you. " Human beings have a natural and
innate need to bond, " he said quoting the
eminent sociologist, Peter Cohen, from the
Netherlands. Addiction was a symptom of
isolation, he posited, and those who had
good social connections were less likely
to become addicts. I am simplifying this
concept here and I highly encourage you to
check out his talk. But the idea that almost
95 percent of heroin addicts coming out of
the Vietnam War were able to stop using
drugs defied the common societal premise
of the chemical hook. " The opposite of
addiction is not sobriety; it's connection. "
While I was undergoing one of the bigFrom
the moment I received my diagnosis, my world as
I knew it was no more. " Like Persephone, I had suddenly
descended into a completely different landscape, " I wrote
in my book, PURGATORY TO PARADISE: How Cancer
Helped Me Design an Authentic Life. " Like the Underworld,
this landscape was carved with rivers of chemo that burned
the cancer cells growing inside of me. "
The rhythm of my days was usurped by
the protocol that was laid out by my healing
team, and I willingly submitted. The better
part of 2019 and a portion of 2020 was
taken up by my cancer treatment. I got to
know my radiation technicians by name,
asked about their weekends, and shared
my favorite 90s EDM with them to play in
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my room. I spent 12 hours at a time with
my capper and a bevy of attentive nurses,
where we bonded over the room I was
designing for the Brooklyn Showhouse,
which landed on the cover of Hamptons
Cottages and Gardens that November. I
saw my doctors more often than I saw my
friends! And then, we became friends.
gest health challenges of my life, I found
my connection with my healing team. As a
single mother and an entrepreneur, I made
the decision to keep my cancer a secret-I
did not want it to sabotage new prospects
as a self-employed interior designer. I did
not share my diagnosis on Facebook nor
on social media. I did not even share my
hardship with my extended family until
after my treatment was almost over. I relied
on my healing team to see me in my
authenticity, in my scars, in my burns, in
my swollen, hairless, bruised skin. They
held space for me to face each hurdle with
dignity and grace.
What no one tells you is that after your
medical treatment is over, there is a massive
amount of healing that still needs to
happen. Survivorship doesn't just mean
you can go along your merry way and
skip into a happily ever after. My oncologist
told me it takes many months for
the body to detox after chemotherapy. It
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Elephants and Tea - March 2023

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