Elephants and Tea - One Herd - 18

Our Voices
in a TV with old VHS tapes, and handed
me some outdated magazines. I remember
sitting there, utterly worn out and questioning
how I was even going to manage
this. I was not ready, physically or mentally.
I sat there for over an hour, hearing
people having conversations just outside
the door, but nothing was happening. It
was the strangest day of my life.
Treatment began on a Wednesday. Walking
into my first session was terrifying.
The treatment room was filled with older
patients who could not relate to me, nor
did they look like me. I prayed for my hair
not to fall out because, even at my worst, I
wanted to " look good. " Being told repeatedly
that I was " too young to be here " was
a dagger to my mental state, making me
feel even more isolated-and it pissed me
off. It was as if my age somehow invalidated
the severity of what I was going through.
On top of that, I kept hearing, " You have
the good cancer, " as if my diagnosis was
some kind of blessing. Fuck that. I remember
telling my nurse to never say that to
anyone ever again.
My treatment team consisted of an
oncologist, a case worker, and a clinical
nurse who understood that I was a young
adult. They tailored my treatment plan
specifically for me, which brought me
immense peace. My case worker quickly
noticed that the current system I had in
place was not giving me all the tools I
needed to fight cancer, particularly in the
mental health category. She was proactive
in connecting me to Young Adult Cancer
organizations, ensuring I had the support I
needed beyond just the medical side. With
the blessings of my oncologist, I was even
able to attend a conference in Denver while
still undergoing treatment. His only mandatory
requirement was that I wear a mask.
These connections and experiences made
my journey significantly less isolating and
helped me maintain a sense of normalcy.
The gripe I had was filling out the weekly
questionnaire about my mental and
physical state. It felt like a cruel joke, as
if I truly knew what was going on with
me. Most of the time, I would lie on those
18
ELEPHANTSANDTEA.ORG
ONE HERD ISSUE 2025
questionnaires because I was worn out and
did not want to endure any extra tests. I
just wanted to get chemo over with and go
home. The only time I was truly honest was
the day I found out the chemotherapy was
working. I was giddy, happy, and eager to
get to the finish line. But despite the good
news, I was informed that I had to complete
the entire treatment course. So, I braced
myself for the four remaining sessions,
the long nights of hugging the toilet and
throwing up for multiple days, and filling
out of the weekly questionnaires.
Finishing chemo and ringing the bell was
both a moment of triumph and terror. I was
terrified of what would come next in my life,
as I had shut everything down for a year
to treat the cancer but had not addressed
my mental state. The worst feeling in the
world is when everyone says you are OK,
but mentally, you are not. I felt completely
isolated because, in many ways, my support
system seemed to stop the day I rang that
bell. My daily calls stopped, my check-ins
stopped, my visits to the hospital stopped.
It was as if everyone around me assumed
the battle was over, but for me, it had just
shifted. How in the hell was I supposed to
just pick up and move on? I had to reach out
for assistance with multiple mental issues
that I had put aside. The fight to save my
body had taken precedence, and my mental
state had to wait. But now, with the cancer
gone, I was left to confront the emotional
and psychological toll it had taken on me.
After completing my treatment, I slowly
began to take my life back and start over.
I was fortunate enough to start a family
and rebuild my life. Now, nearly 10 years
cancer-free, I reflect on the journey and
recognize that without my incredible team,
I would not be here. Their support and expertise
were instrumental in my recovery
and in helping me reclaim my future.
Having advocates who understood medical
jargon and who fought to ensure the
best treatment plan was crucial at every
step of the cancer process. I also discovered
that advocating for myself was equally
crucial, empowering me to achieve the best
possible outcome. This journey taught me
the importance of perseverance, advocacy,
and the invaluable support of loved ones.
I saw myself growing as I learned to speak
up about what was happening in my life
and the support I needed.
In conclusion, the journey through cancer
treatment sucked-it was grueling and
filled with misdiagnoses and misunderstandings.
It was not fun, and the emotional
and mental toll was immense. If it were
not for the nurse who insisted on that chest
X-ray and my mother's relentless advocacy,
I might not have caught the cancer in
time. Without advocacy from my parents,
and eventually learning to advocate for
myself, my journey would have been very
different. Having a supportive network
and a treatment team that understood my
unique needs as a young adult made the
process bearable and, ultimately, successful
Being part of the One Herd Initiative
and sharing my story helps highlight the
importance of understanding health disparities
and advocating for oneself. My
experience underscores the need for better
training for medical professionals in recognizing
serious conditions in young adults
and the value of a strong support system.
Through this initiative, I hope my story
can contribute to a broader understanding
and better support for the medically underserved,
particularly in the AYA cancer
community.
As I move forward, I will carry on the
lessons learned from this experience. I have
learned to lean on my advocates, to be more
proactive in seeking medical advice, and to
be more vocal about my needs. Cancer may
have changed my life forever, and while I
would not wish the experience on anyone,
it has led me to find my " herd " -from my
case management team to my friends and
family, and the young adult cancer community.
My journey with cancer has shaped
me in profound ways, and I am committed
to using my experience to help others navigate
their own health challenges. Being
part of a community that understands and
supports each other is invaluable, and I am
grateful to be able to contribute my story
to this worthy cause. l
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Elephants and Tea - One Herd

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