MY LIFE Matters: Health and Wellness Issue - 30

Wellness BEING ME
Taking the Mask
Off Cancer
BY STEPHANIE MILLETT, MBC THRIVER (STAGE IV)
"
W
30
here did it all start? "
This question was asked
by my new therapist.
I remember a time in
the cancer clinic when
someone kept referring to me as a she.
They kept saying it, and I was physically
flinching. It wasn't until my wife noticed
and asked me about it later.
I don't think I have ever " fit in. " I was
always a bit bigger and struggled to fit into
regular sized clothing. I wore boy clothes a
lot. I didn't understand why boys could go
shirtless, but girls couldn't. As a fat kid in
the 90s, baggy boys' clothes were all that
was available to me. I did not like bras at
all, and I always thought they were wildly
uncomfortable. I switched over to bralettes
as soon as those became popular.
MY LIFE MATTERS
HEALTH AND WELLNESS ISSUE SPRING 2023
In high school I cut my hair and dyed it
a lot. I later got into the beauty industry
and continued down the path of making
myself hyper feminine. I wore figure hugging
outfits, celebrating the curves of my
body. I tried to fit in the best way I knew
how, by trying to be one of the girls.
The first time I got breast cancer, I cried
for the loss of my femininity. My breasts
will never be the same, my skin, or my
body-I begged surgeons to give me implants
to try and make my body look the
way it was supposed to look. I wanted to
be symmetrical for the first time in my
life, and each surgeon I met told me no.
My skin wouldn't stretch enough for implants.
Radiation would cause expanders
to be ineffective. I would likely need more
surgeries if an implant decided to misbehave,
or I would need to replace them
after a certain amount of time.
Fat grafting, though? That was something
that was often suggested.
" We can't give you implants, but how
about we take fat from your stomach?
Fat from your back? You have more than
enough. " I was also pregnant at the time,
but I didn't know. Nobody knew.
A 10-hour surgery and two nights
in the ICU-this is what was offered
to me. I was so focused on putting my
body back together the way I thought it
needed to be that I didn't even consider
other options. None were offered. It was
fat grafting, or it was a " uniboob. " My
dreams of having a chest that I thought
would make me feel complete were
dashed. Prosthetics it was.
MY LIFE Matters: Health and Wellness Issue

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