MY LIFE Matters: Health and Wellness Issue - 35

TICKER COPY Department
ends up being ourselves ( " Maybe I should
have eaten organic/exercised more/skipped
college keggers/stayed away from hormonal
birth control/fill-in-the-blank... " ). Coming
to the understanding that sometimes blame
cannot be placed gives us a pathway to move
beyond negativity. Give yourself a chance to
realize that it's not your fault.
9. RECOGNIZE CHANGE AS A
PART OF LIFE
GETTING PHYSICAL
It's true that cancer changes us, but isn't it
also true that we would be changing even
without that diagnosis? We've been growing
and aging since we were born, and our
life experiences will continue to transform
us in mind, body and soul. Finding value in
the ways that change breeds discovery and
growth can help us renew our sense of who
we are, what we stand for, and how we wish to
move through this world. Our bodies adapt
to help us accomplish new things every day.
Honoring this remarkable ability to change
and thrive in the face of adversity is just one
of the ways we can find pride in who we are,
and who we are becoming.
10. HAVE PATIENCE AND
PERSEVERANCE
We are only given one body, and we have the
power to choose to accept it for what it is,
with all its quirks and limitations (remember,
we all have them!). Taking care of ourselves
includes making the deliberate decision
to nurture a healthy relationship with the
person we see in the mirror every morning.
In the words of the unapologeticallyoriginal
Lady Gaga, there's nothing wrong
with loving who you are...
So, own it! l
If you are dating someone new, you
may be wondering how to bring up
some of the body changes that
you've experienced with cancer.
It can be helpful to acknowledge
anything noticeably different
about your physical appearance
right off the bat. Alopecia (hair
loss), visible scars, the presence
of a central line (PICC line or
infusaport), and lymphedema are a
few examples. Stick with the basics
and be honest. Using humor helps!
Showing that you're ok talking about it
will help them feel comfortable, too.
On the other hand, some physical
changes aren't as immediately
noticeable, like the loss of a testicle or
breast, a scar usually hidden by clothing,
or the presence of an ostomy. This
can make the idea of getting physical
especially nerve-wracking, since
it means having to figure out how
to provide an explanation at a time
when you're already feeling a little exposed.
If you think things are moving
in that direction, consider bringing it
up before you're in a clothes-coming-off
situation. You might also offer
to show them what you are talking
about. This will temper the element of
surprise, and it can help both of you
gauge how you feel about it before
you're in the heat of the moment.
Further still, there are some things
that your partner wouldn't know at all,
unless you told them. Trouble with fatigue,
muscle and joint aches, chronic
pain and positioning problems are
some common examples. Also,
changes in how your body functions
sexually, such as changes with
ejaculation, or the need for personal
lubricant due to vaginal dryness, may
require some head's-up. Explaining
the what and the why of things can
make them less intimidating to your
partner, and offering ideas on how
activities may need to be altered (if
any) for success can help put your
partner at ease.
Remember, you are an awesome
catch! It's OK to take things slowly,
but don't let fears or doubts get in
the way of finding and enjoying the
physical and emotional connections
you deserve.
MARLOE ESCH, RN, BSN,
ONCOLOGY CERTIFIED
NURSE (OCN), AND
YOUNG ADULT CANCER
SURVIVOR, GRADUATED
FROM THE UNIVERSITY
OF WISCONSIN - MADISON
SCHOOL OF NURSING
(GO BADGERS!) IN 2008.
SHE ENJOYS EDUCATING
BOTH SURVIVORS
AND HEALTHCARE
PROFESSIONALS ON
THE TOPIC OF CANCER
AND SEXUALITY, AND
HAS PRESENTED FOR
THE YOUNG SURVIVAL
COALITION, THE
ONCOLOGY NURSING
SOCIETY, AND PLANNED
PARENTHOOD OF
WISCONSIN, AMONG
OTHERS. SHE HOLDS
A CERTIFICATE FROM
THE SEXUAL HEALTH
CERTIFICATE PROGRAM
THROUGH THE
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
AND IS CURRENTLY
PURSUING HER DOCTOR OF
NURSING PRACTICE (DNP)
AT THE UNIVERSITY OF
WISCONSIN - MILWAUKEE .
AN ENTHUSIASTIC
SUPPORTER OF SEXUAL
HEALTH AND WELLNESS,
MARLOE IS MAKING IT HER
MISSION TO BRING SEX
INTO THE SURVIVORSHIP
SPOTLIGHT.
MY LIFE MATTERS
HEALTH AND WELLNESS ISSUE SPRING 2023
35
https://elephantsandtea.com/sexuality/speaking-of-sex/ https://elephantsandtea.com/sexuality/dating-after-cancer-the-disclosure-dilemma/ https://elephantsandtea.com/sexuality/dating-after-cancer-the-disclosure-dilemma/
MY LIFE Matters: Health and Wellness Issue

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