What Do I Do Now? - 87

87
LIVE YOUR SOCIAL LIFE WITH CANCER /// CHAPTER 54
Protect your partner from potential chemo exposure
There is not great data on how much chemotherapy can
get into a man's semen or if this poses risk to a sexual
partner. We do know chemotherapy can be excreted in body
secretions for 48-72 hours after a treatment. If this is a
concern for you and your partner, use a condom or dental
dam whenever your partner may come in contact with your
body fluids.
Protect yourself from infection
Certain treatments can cause low blood cell counts which
increase your risk for infection. Additionally, if you or your
partner have sex with multiple partners, and you don't
use barrier devices, you're at risk for sexually transmitted
infections (STIs). Some of the ways to help prevent
infection:
» Wash your hands and genitals before and after having
vaginal, oral, or anal sex.
» Consider using a condom or a dental dam each time you
have vaginal, oral, or anal sex throughout your treatment,
even if you're using another form of birth control.
» If you use sex toys, wash them with hot soapy water
every time you use them.
» The risk of infection is quite high receiving anal sex with
low counts. If this is a difficult limitation for you, discuss
this issue with your healthcare provider.
» In some situations, your doctor may recommend for you
to avoid sex that involves penetration or contact with
mucous membranes while your blood counts are low.
This includes vaginal, oral, and anal sex or inserting
fingers, vibrators, or sex toys into the vagina or anus. Ask
you physician if there is a platelet or white count he or
she considers a threshold for any sexual activity.
" How can I be more physically
comfortable? "
» If you had surgery involving the pelvic area or your mouth,
you may need to allow extra time for healing before having
sex that involves penetration (with penis, fingers, toys,
vibrators or dilators) or oral sex.
» Surgery can make certain positions painful. Try different
positions to find what is best for you and your partner.
» Think outside the box about sexual activity. It does not
have to involve intercourse or oral sex. Use kissing,
touching, and caressing to satisfy each other.
" What if I am having functional
problems? "
Certain medications can decrease your libido and/or ability
to achieve erections or orgasm. Surgery or radiation can
have functional consequences too.
» Ask your physician or pharmacist if any of your prescribed
medications might be responsible; if so, perhaps they can
be changed or stopped.
» Treatment can decrease your testosterone levels;
discuss checking the level with your physician. Don't
take testosterone supplements without consulting your
physician first.
» Erectile dysfunction treatment can help. Your cancer
physician should be able to help or refer you to a
urologist who can.
" It should all be working, but I am
struggling emotionally "
Sexual intimacy does not always end in orgasm and
resolution. If you are trying to improve sexual satisfaction or
re-engage in sexual behavior, you may want to start slow.
Focus on using lots of physical touch with your partner,
covering areas you are not comfortable exposing just yet.
Allow yourself to enjoy sexual desire and excitement without
the pressure of getting to an " endpoint. " Allow yourself
to enjoy the journey. Connect with your partner(s) simply
exploring with touch, and work back up to having sex over a
period of a few weeks. Get comfortable again with your body
and your partner(s).
During this process of exploring your body with your partner,
you may notice negative thoughts about yourself, your body
image, and the way your body is functioning. It is important
to understand these thoughts and gently re-engage your
attention in the physical sensations. You may need to do
this many times while being intimate. Try to ease your
worries by turning your attention back to physical pleasure
in the moment. A safe and caring relationship allows for the
chance to explore your sexuality during cancer. Make sure
you are exploring your body with someone you can trust and
be open with.
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What Do I Do Now?

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