PKD Life - Summer 2023 - 15

Catherine and
Lauren with their
parents, Kermit
and Toni Kaiser.
CATHERINE I have to be
honest: I didn't think all
that much about how PKD
would affect my sister. I was
a typical angsty, narcissistic
teenager. I am lucky that I
have been healthy.
LAUREN I always suspected
I'd have trouble getting pregnant
because I never had a
real period, and I had a lot of
health issues. At some point,
all of my doctors told me that
carrying a child would be too
hard on my body.
CATHERINE I had three very
healthy pregnancies-except
if you count the nine months
of throwing up. After my third
child was born, my husband,
JT, got a vasectomy. There
were no more pregnancies in
my future. Well, the joke was
on us, right?
LAUREN I got married at 35,
and later we bought a house
and moved to Memphis, Tennessee.
My husband, Chris,
and I explored all the options,
from donor egg to adoption
to fostering to surrogacy.
We decided to try in vitro
fertilization, and we ended up
with seven or eight embryos.
Genetic testing revealed that
all but one would have PKD.
So, we were left with one
healthy embryo.
" YOU JUST HAVE
TO LISTEN "
CATHERINE Around March
of 2020, JT and I were sitting
on our screened-in porch at
our home in Nashville, and
he looked at me and said,
with all seriousness, " You
should be your sister's surrogate. "
I thought, clearly, this
being cooped up in the house
has gone to his head.
But every few weeks, he'd
say, " Hey, have you told your
sister you're going to do this? "
And I said, " No, JT, I have
not. " I mean, we'd already
agreed that our family can't
deal with me being pregnant
again. At one point, I said,
" We are budget people, we
are schedule people, and this
does not fall into either of
those categories. " He looked
at me and said, " When the
Lord puts this on your heart,
you just have to listen. " And
while we are Christian, this
is not how this man usually
talks. I realized he was very
serious and thought, hmm,
maybe this is something we
should explore.
LAUREN I started to panic
because I didn't know if I
would be able to use the
embryo. Just to begin with
an agency and lawyer was
around $100,000. We'd just
bought a house and paid for
fertility treatments, and I
didn't know how we were
going to do it.
CATHERINE When Lauren
told me that she was exploring
surrogacy agencies, I said,
Our Advice
WHO CARES IF
IT'S WEIRD? " We had
to go to a psychologist as
part of the process, and
the therapist asked my
husband if he worried
about what people were
going to say, " Catherine
recalls. " He replied, 'Oh,
it's the weirdest thing
in the world, but we're
going to do it.' "
FIND SOMEONE
YOU TOTALLY TRUST
AND RELEASE IT
ALL TO THEM. " My
sister and her husband
never asked what I
was eating or drinking
or doing, " Catherine
says. " They said, 'You've
done this before. Go do
your thing.' "
LET YOURSELF
FEEL IT. When you feel
discouraged, let yourself
feel that, but also
for a limited amount of
time. Because discouragement
is what's real;
hope is what will win.
" That's silly. I'm doing this
for you. "
LAUREN My response was
absolutely not.
CATHERINE She said, " We
could not ask that of you. "
And I replied, " You didn't ask;
I told you, and that's what
we're going to do. "
In August of 2021, we did
the transfer, and a few weeks
later I got the blood test. I will
never forget the doctor's voice
on the other line. She said,
" We did it. "
MAGICAL MOMENT
LAUREN I was anxious
before the delivery. I didn't
know how I would handle
seeing my sister in pain. But
really, it was such a graceful
thing to watch. She was so
calm, and JT just knew what
she needed without her even
having to ask.
The delivery took a long
time, and the baby's umbilical
cord was around his neck.
And when they put him
on Catherine's stomach, he
didn't look so good, and it
was like the room stood still.
And then Catherine, always
the comedian, said, " Oh,
my gosh, is he OK? Tell me
I didn't do all this for nothing! "
And the room began to
move again.
She said, " You can touch
him. " I reached out to touch
him at the same time as she
squeezed my arm, and we
looked at each other, and it
was just-nobody else existed
at that moment. She and I
brought Kermit Heathward
Malone into the world. Once
that moment happened, I
was so glad it went the way it
did. We had this opportunity
to do it together. For the rest
of my life, I will remember
that moment.
CATHERINE The question
people ask most is if it
was hard to give the baby
away. And I always answer,
unequivocally, no. The baby
was never mine. I was just the
incubator. And it was truly
an honor to get to do this for
my sister and her husband.
*
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PREGNANCY AND PKD, VISIT PKDCURE.ORG/LIVING-WITH-PKD/PREGNANCY-AND-PKD
15

http://www.PKDCURE.ORG/LIVING-WITH-PKD/PREGNANCY-AND-PKD

PKD Life - Summer 2023

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