SEAHO Report - Fall 2021 - 19

FEATURE ARTICLES
have had to learn and relearn the ways I perform as a parent and as a professional over the past five years of
motherhood: how I show up in the workplace, resetting boundaries in order to make it to pick up on time, how
I talk to my daughter about what a " hard day " means for me and why I may need to leave suddenly to go back
to work after a phone call. I like to think I am better in both regards because of my tiny human, but know that
sometimes those I work with have to feel the effects of my limited patience. I have tried to find balance; I have
sought for harmony; I have regularly felt that I have come up short. This work is HARD, but it is IMPORTANT. "
Meghan Luzader
Director of Residence Life/ Mother of One
North Carolina State University
" If you happen to find any pictures of me when my son Christian was under the age of 5, you would see a
much different version of Stephanie. I struggled profoundly with work/life balance or integration (however you
describe it) as a new mom. I mean if there was a grading scale, I would have gotten an F, maybe a D- if you were
being generous. At 6 weeks old, I put Christian in daycare because I felt like I needed to get back to work to be
there for my team and contribute to the department. Not only that, he would stay at daycare until they closed at
7 p.m., because once again I felt like I needed to work late to get everything done. Honestly, I didn't want anyone
to question my ability to do my job, question my ability to hold my weight or question my professional abilities
in any capacity because I was a single Black mom. This kind of unhealthy thinking only brought me more stress,
more headaches, a double dose of both work and mom guilt (simultaneous at times...yuck), lots of bad eating
habits and, you guessed it, a ton of weight gain. What it didn't get me was more time with my son in his earlier
years.
While I often have to learn things the hard way, I try not to look back on that time with regret because it taught
me a lot. It reminded me to make the most important thing, the most important thing. Your family, your
health, your mental wellbeing...these things are important. Your job yes, it is important too but set limits and
boundaries and hold firm to them, for your own sake and sanity. From what we have learned (even during a
pandemic but especially during it) is the work will be there. It won't all get done in one day nor are you expected
to get it done in one day. Your main goal as a working mother, in my humble opinion, is to think about the true
legacy you are creating. The legacy that you are creating everyday through the lives of your kid(s). "
Dr. Stephanie Carter
Director of Residence Life/Mother of One
Wake Forest University
" Your priorities shift. The type of person you were when you went on maternity leave will not be the same
person that returns. In many ways, it was the best thing that happened to me. I didn't let the little things
bother me as much - I had bigger, more important priorities. I was a lot more at peace with not getting all of
the things done all of the time. But it was also really hard. Honestly a lot harder than I expected. I urge you to
set strict boundaries with yourself and others. Additionally, be sure to lean on your support system for help.
When work is supportive, take your baby to after-hours events and meetings. Work-life balance/integration
looks differently now. I'll never forget when the world shut down at the start of the pandemic. Daycare closed
and we were mostly working from home. I strapped my 10-month baby to my chest and walked three-flights of
stairs across 17 buildings in my complex checking rooms and in some cases packing up students' rooms. I'd take
breaks in between to pump or breastfeed and there wasn't anything else I could do about it. My needs had to be
accommodated and we met halfway when necessary. "
Kimberly Bradley
Assistant Director of Residence Life/ Mother of One
Virginia Commonwealth University
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SEAHO Report - Fall 2021

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