SEAHO Report - Fall 2021 - 23

FEATURE ARTICLES
" I cherished my relationship with my supervisor and non-live-on colleague who was experiencing pregnancy
and preparing for leave alongside me. Our journeys were different, but it felt good to connect on similar
experiences being pregnant. It was also insightful to learn and support each other in our different experiences in
our pregnancy journey.
We chose to adapt together. I created a list of things I knew needed to be addressed regarding support of my
community and those I supervised and advised thanks to previous experience with my first child. My supervisor
and a non-live on housing colleague who was also a mom and pregnant again too, reviewed and added other
things I had not considered because of this institution and department being exponentially larger and more
bureaucratic. Weekly we worked together to ensure when I was away, my community and team would still thrive
and be supported in my absence.
One of the most important things I did was reasonably keep my team of graduate and undergraduate students in
the loop. This was new to them, and they were seeing me change and grow and prepare to be away and return
in real time. I created a document for my graduate assistant and team, and happily answered questions as the
trimesters passed by. Sometimes it was annoying and sometimes it was comical and gratifying the questions
they would ask, along with the comments they'd make. None of my supervisees and advisees had had a previous
supervisor who was live-in and pregnant, so we were all adapting, and learning, and trusting a created network
of others who would step up and step in during my leave.
I shared the document with my colleagues and ultimately the department so they would be knowledgeable
in case I was not the last team member to experience this journey. I informed them that it should be livingbreathing.
I had moments of feeling like I was letting certain individuals down, however, I had colleagues who
were amazingly supportive and reassuring that they had my back even though it was new to them as well.
I made up my mind to move in confidence and make peace with being the first. I shared that I was not always
confident in what I was making sense of, and this helped me to strengthen my relationships with colleagues,
while others became more distanced because of how our connections were established. "
Deanna C. Hughes
Residence Hall Manager/ Mother of Three
Florida State University
Colleague Relations
Currently, I work with eight of the most amazing professionals in our department. We are small in numbers but
mighty in impact. When one of us is missing in action, that can cause severe adjustments. Over the past year,
finding my place amongst my colleagues has been somewhat difficult. I want to bond, I want to go grab that
drink or hang out after work, but there is this big monster in my mind and heart called " Mom Guilt " . I found
myself missing out on the normal assimilation and team building that our department was able to do because I
felt the need to always be at home with my son and partner. There were a select few incidents where I was able
to say yes and go attempt to enjoy myself, but instead of having fun, the " Mom Guilt " was eating at me. In this
situation, and a plethora of others, I remember how much of an impact having such an amazing partner had
on my motherhood experience. When it comes to my self-care he is my accountability partner, we share the
responsibility while we share the joy also. As opportunities arose with my coworkers to bond, he would always be
one of the first to say, " What do we need to do to make it happen? " I'm forever grateful.
If we were ever not able to adjust there were alternatives I found to be able to enjoy and spend time. Eventually,
I began bringing my son with me! They embraced him so well and it gave us a way to get to know each other
without the fear of missing out on relationship building on either side.
I can't express how important it is to have support on all sides, from those you supervise, your supervisor,
and your colleagues. Advocacy as a black woman was hard enough but now comes the " asks " and questions
because of family obligations which can be very difficult. Thankfully, this environment has allowed me to
unapologetically serve in my position as a mother and not just to survive, but to thrive as well.
Ashley C. Owens
Area Coordinator/ Mother of One
University of Richmond
23

SEAHO Report - Fall 2021

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of SEAHO Report - Fall 2021