SEAHO Report - Winter 2022 - 35

FEATURE ARTICLES
Colleague Relations
Currently, I work with eight of the most amazing professionals in our department. We are small
in numbers but mighty in impact. When one of us is missing in action, that can cause severe
adjustments. Over the past year, finding my place amongst my colleagues has been somewhat
difficult. I want to bond, I want to go grab that drink or hang out after work, but there is this big
monster in my mind and heart called " Mom Guilt " . I found myself missing out on the normal
assimilation and team building that our department was able to do because I felt the need to always
be at home with my son and partner. There were a select few incidents where I was able to say yes
and go attempt to enjoy myself, but instead of having fun, the " Mom Guilt " was eating at me. In
this situation, and a plethora of others, I remember how much of an impact having such an amazing
partner had on my motherhood experience. When it comes to my self-care he is my accountability
partner, we share the responsibility while we share the joy also. As opportunities arose with my
coworkers to bond, he would always be one of the first to say, " What do we need to do to make it
happen? " I'm forever grateful.
If we were ever not able to adjust there were alternatives I found to be able to enjoy and spend time.
Eventually, I began bringing my son with me! They embraced him so well and it gave us a way to get
to know each other without the fear of missing out on relationship building on either side.
I can't express how important it is to have support on all sides, from those you supervise, your
supervisor, and your colleagues. Advocacy as a black woman was hard enough but now comes
the " asks " and questions because of family obligations which can be very difficult. Thankfully, this
environment has allowed me to unapologetically serve in my position as a mother and not just to
survive, but to thrive as well.
Ashley C. Owens
Area Coordinator/ Mother of One
University of Richmond
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" Some of my fondest and most difficult experiences as a live-in parent have been impacted by
relationships with my colleagues. As I reflect on a few I intend to share with you, two commonalities
that consistently impacted my relationships with my colleagues were personal stories and
adaptation. For personal stories, I came to understand on a greater level that you do not know what
you do not know, until someone shows you, or chooses to tell you.
I remember being new to an institution, and a graduate assistant I was responsible for supervising
told me they were unsure I could do the job and be a mom during our first meeting together during
training. The grad further shared that they believed I was the first coordinator at the institution to be
a live-in mom, and they had not seen or heard it being done before.
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SEAHO Report - Winter 2022

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