SEAHO Report - Winter 2022 - 39

FEATURE ARTICLES
Advice To New RLH Moms
" My partner and I started telling our daughter her affirmation well before she could remember it: I
am strong, smart, beautiful, and kind. Most of all, I am unstoppable. Mommy and Daddy love me
and I love myself.
She recites this on the regular, most notably when she shows signs of feeling overwhelmed. My
daughter and my partner make me affirm myself the same way when I am feeling overwhelmed
(including when I was interviewing for the role I am in now!). And during our last in-person SEAHO,
I was able to teach this affirmation to some dear friends when we were in need of a pause together.
I think about this affirmation regularly because I know where it originated from - there will come a
time when the world seeks to teach my daughter that she is less than any of these words and it is my
utmost responsibility to make sure she holds a better narrative in her heart. I've spent decades of my
life seeking to unlearn these messages myself, which has only reared its head more as a mother than
ever before.
If you are a new parent: Find your affirmation!! Feel free to borrow some or all of ours (mentioned
above) if it resonates with you. But whatever you use, find a way to remind yourself regularly that you
are valued and the work you are doing matters. Not just in housing, but as a parent. The needs of
your child are going to change regularly and your role with that will ebb and flow. When it comes to
how you show up at work, use your voice to let those around you know what you need! If you need
to reset a boundary, talk about that, those you work closest with will appreciate you communicating
when you need something to change instead of hoping they figure it out. And the best way I have
found to combat guilt is to talk with people who are willing to sit with you in the space. Your mental
gymnastics don't need to just be an internal battle! "
Meghan Luzader
Director of Residence Life/ Mother of One
North Carolina State University
______________________________________________________________________________
" Let me start out by saying, it is not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it. As a mother of
two (5 years old and 9 months old) the work doesn't stop. Find time for yourself in all of the work.
You earn vacation time....take it. It wasn't until my second was born that I felt empowered to use my
vacation time to just take a day for myself. Yes, I'm the mom that took a vacation day, sent both my
kids to school, then went and had a 'treat yourself day'. It's worth it and needed.
Find babysitters that understand what you do. I always look for college students first through local
listservs, mom Facebook groups, or care.com. I've had great luck with all methods. These folks
understand that college life is 24/7 and can work with you on a schedule. Daycares, schools, and
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http://www.care.com

SEAHO Report - Winter 2022

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of SEAHO Report - Winter 2022