The Leading Edge - Winter 2010 - PFK - 14

marketing networking: Change your perspective By Mark Slatin, True Colors Consulting etworking, at least the face-to-face variety, creates anxiety for many. You know—the chamber power networking breakfast, the industry trade show cocktail party or the association dinner. After you sketch your John Doe on the name tag with a big fat marker, you slap it on your blazer knowing full well it will peel before you shake your first hand. You prepare to grip, grin and greet. Time to put on the mask. After all, the masquerade is about to begin; it’s time to look and act the part. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in the sales arena for more than 27 years and I believe I’d rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than network in person. That is until I changed my perspective. Successful networking requires understanding the most common mistakes and having a willingness to adopt new mindsets. n Always closing. It’s not about showing up and making a sale the first time you meet someone. new mindset—Mission: relationship building, not speed dating. The paradox in selling is the less we work to make the sale and the more we make the relationship the sale, the more success we enjoy. With so many potential customers in the room, I know this seems counterintuitive. There’s a real temptation to feel like you must turn over every stone in the room and bounce from person to person. The problem with that is we may come across as self-oriented, just out for a sale. According to trust expert Charles H. Green, co-author of The Trusted Advisor and author of Trust-Based Selling, self-orientation, whether perceived as high or low, is the most powerful component of our trustworthiness as measured by others (see my blog, Transparency and Selling, at www.truecolorsconsulting.com). This hit-and-run approach reeks of a high self-orientation. You’re essentially saying, “I’m moving on now because you’re not worth my time.” misguided expectations. Understandably, we hope to generate a bunch of leads. Surely, you’ll bump into at least one person who needs your remedy to cure what ails him or her. When no one seems interested, you go home hanging your head. new mindset—Reset your expectations. Most people in the room are seeking to market their services, not to buy yours. “OK, if that’s true, aren’t I just wasting my time and money?” Maybe, but not necessarily. Don’t ask, “Will they buy from me?” Instead ask, “Could anyone in their sphere of influence benefit from my offerings?” For example, if you sell employee benefit programs to small- and medium-sized businesses, the financial planner who runs a solo practice may not be a prospect himself, but who does he know who might be? Think about his prospect and client base. Are you starting to see the possibilities opening up? sell by telling. How many times have you endured a seemingly endless sales pitch at a networking function? When common courtesy would dictate a bullet point, some turn it into open-mike night. new mindset—Ask, then listen. Instead of “showing up and throwing up,” consider asking and then listening. I don’t just mean asking to be nice—but asking with a spirit of curiosity. Let me tell you a little secret about why this works. According to Dr. Stephen Covey, author of The Eighth Habit, next to survival, the greatest human need is to be understood (affirmed, validated and acknowledged). Our need to be heard runs deep. Here are some tips on how to listen to build trust: • Clear the mind chatter—We live in a world of 24/7 mind chatter. “I wonder if I defrosted the chicken?” “Didn’t that VOLUME 10 • ISSUE 2 • WINTER 2010

The Leading Edge - Winter 2010 - PFK

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