The Samaritan Connection - 3

Wisdom from the Ages
Jane has been through a great deal
of change in her life. She has had
numerous doctor's appointments and
falls, and she has had several important
relationships come and go over the
years. Jane has had to adjust to the
restrictions COVID put on her and recently she moved from
where she has lived all her life to a new home.
Jane is my 2 ½ year old granddaughter.
Jane has had to adapt to change much like all of us have-
admittedly usually over a broader expanse of time. However,
change is never easy and always requires adjustments. And
patience. Here are some coping mechanisms I have learned
from all 39 inches of her:
* " Heeeeavy! " When Jane carries a step stool or a large
container of stuffed animals through the room, she
loudly announces, " Heeeeavy! " Often it is with an
uncharacteristic lilting grunt to her voice, an almost
Southern accent, which she doesn't utilize in other
situations. And perhaps that is enough for her to get the
strength and confi dence she needs. She acknowledges
the diffi culty, focuses on the task, completes the job.
And, yes, sometimes a doll comes tumbling out of the
basket.
* " Dop! " This is a serious command used only in the
direst of circumstances. Say Grammy was to try to assist
with carrying the basket of toys, she might be told to
" Dop! " Jane has a plan. She wants to do it, and she has
set that goal for herself. In less important settings she
may say, " I do it pweease! " letting us into her plan of
action and giving us the opportunity to encourage her
independence. Both are ways she has set a boundary and
learned to advocate for herself regarding them.
By Deborah Miller, MA, LPC
* " I skay-wood. " This is a more recent exclamation as she
increases her awareness of all these new Big Feelings.
Fortunately with this one, Mommy is also showing her
how to be bwave when she is skay-wood. Sometimes it's
a loud noise or a neighbor yelling. Sometimes it's the
scene in Moana when the island comes to life. And,
sure, sometimes it's at bedtime. In this moment Jane is
aware of a troubling emotion and asks her community
for help. As a result, often the best comfort is found
sitting on Grammy's lap or getting a hug from Daddy.
And sometimes we are all our bwavest when we admit
we are skay-wood.
· " It's dee-rishus! " This is an important one for all of us.
Check in with each other in this way: Ask how it tastes.
Sometimes it's good. And that's ok. But sometimes a
s'more over the campfi re or a Popsicle on a hot day is
more than just good, it's dee-rishus! So is a raise at work
or negative test results from the doctor or passing the
AP exam. And sometimes...no, always, it's your toddler
granddaughter running across the lawn to greet you.
So let's all try to be more like Jane.
* Admit when you need help (we all do).
* Set boundaries for yourself and stick
to them (you're worth it).
* Acknowledge your feelings and look to
your community for support (stay connected).
* Celebrate joy (even if it's a toasted
marshmallow).
And always, always, run to
hug your Grammy!
The Samaritan Connection * 3
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The Samaritan Connection

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