CL-August 2024 - 30

RURAL LIVING
Snakes Alive!
Adventures in rural porch life
by Margo Oxendine, Contributing Columnist
I
generally spend
most of the
summer in my
favorite room: the
screened-in porch.
Th ere's a table
out there where
I rest my book and eat my " blinner "
(breakfast, lunch and dinner, rolled into
one), and gaze out at the birds
and greenery.
Th e porch is usually where I can
be found whenever I get up from my
computer and stop writing. It's a laptop,
but I never cart it out to the porch.
I guess the porch is " sacred " that way.
Other than maybe answering a phone
call, no real work ever gets done on
the porch.
If you are lucky enough to have a
porch - especially a screened-in one -
you know exactly what I'm talking
about. Many people living in neighborhoods
with porches oſt en sit on them
and exchange pleasantries with passing
friends and acquaintances. At the very
least, they share waves and smiles.
When the summer heat gets to me,
I get a Lindy's Homemade
Ice out of the freezer. My
favorites are strawberries & cream
and peaches & cream. Th ese delectable,
frozen treats have just 160 calories.
Now that I've kicked my addiction
to higher-calorie Haagen-Dazs ice
cream, Lindy's are my go-to for icy
sweetness. One of them cools me down
immediately and then I go inside and
sprawl out in my comfy chair in the
study. No studying takes place there,
but that's where the TV is.
I never watch TV during the day,
though. I continue reading in the study
until it cools down enough to return to
the porch. I have a small but powerful
fan and a lamp, so I remain out there
until at least 8 p.m. every night.
I am not the only denizen of my
porch. I am sure a mouse family lives
out there, too. Th ey leave evidence
that I have to sweep or clean every day.
One aſt ernoon, I discovered a
very unwelcome visitor. A huge, black
snake was coiled up and sleeping in the
window. I couldn't fi gure out what the
heck it was at fi rst. When I did recognize
it, I was frozen with fear and indecision.
I didn't want to share my blessed
porch with a big snake!
A kindly neighbor was happy
to come over with a long tool
and a bucket and relocate the
snake to a wooded area. Give a
man a manly task on a sultry, lazy
aſt ernoon, and you might make his
day! He sure made mine.
As a kid in my family's Victorian
house on what is today the Omni
Homestead golf course, we had a
wraparound porch, and it received
just as much love and use as mine does
now. If a thunderstorm with lightning
suddenly appeared, Daddy would call
out to the golfers and invite them to
ride out the danger under our porch.
One such evening, our house was
" in play " for the Homestead course.
We were sitting on the porch when an
errant golf ball suddenly came screaming
through the air, hit Mom's wicker rocker,
and knocked her over! She was fi ne, but
Daddy had the porch screened in shortly
aſt er that to prevent further mishaps.
If you are lucky enough to have a
porch to relax on this sweltering summer,
I sure hope you're reading this out there.
Watch out for golf balls ... and snakes!
*
To order a copy of Margo's " A Party of One, "
call 540-468-2147 Mon.-Wed., 9 a.m.-5 p.m.,
or email therecorderoffi ce@gmail.com.
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DISPUTANTA, VA
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CL-August 2024

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