Cooperative Living August 2018 - 42

Rural Living | by Margo Oxendine, Contributing Columnist
On Lolling, Innovation
and Rural Skullduggery
O
h, it's the hottest month of the
year - and, this year, that's
saying something - and I can't
stop wishing I had a pool where I could
loll around. I am very good at lolling,
especially in a pool.
I think if I ever hit a jackpot of some sort,
the first thing I'll do is put in an in-ground
pool. Just a small one. One of those where
you can swim forever and never get
anywhere. I've surveyed my yard, and the
only place it would fit is right underneath
the pole where all the electrical and
phone lines come together. Recipe for
disaster, I'm thinking. (Of course, to hit
a jackpot, I'd have to play a gambling
game, and I'm sure no gambler.)
There is a large public pool just a few
miles from my house. I cannot bring
myself to go there. It is, as most pools
are this time of year, chockablock with
screaming children. And I just can't get
past the thought of what most, if not all,
children do when they're in a pool. I'd
rather sit on my porch and read and
perspire. Then, take a cold shower.
There's another pool about 12 miles
away that is private. You pay, and then
you can go anytime, for as long as you
like. The water is very cold. I like it that
way. There are rarely any screaming
children. But, getting there is like taking
a day trip of sorts. You've got to plan and
pack and drive, and who has that kind of
time most weekdays? Still, I'd do it, but
getting into the pool means getting into
the relentless sunshine, and we all know
where that already got me. So: a cold
shower it is.
I did for awhile come up with an
innovative idea to have my own private
pool. I bought a turquoise blue plastic
watering trough from a farm store. It had
a drain plug at the bottom. I covered an
40 | Cooperative Living | August 2018
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old flower garden with a bright-green
Astroturf carpet (I'm much better at
growing Astroturf than flowers), put the
pool in the middle, and filled it up with
the rarely used garden hose. I found that
if you let the hose lay unrolled in the
sunshine for a while, the water inside it
becomes warm. Until it doesn't. Good
thing I like cold water!
I think the pool held 175 gallons of
water. I'd fill it up, put on my bathing
suit, gather a big plastic glass of ice
water and head out. I had, of course, a
pink-flamingo " floater " that held the
glass and bobbed around. It was a
cheerful little scene.
Once word got around to my friends,
they came from far and wide to take a
gander at my pool. Most looked at me as
if I were a bit daft; they complimented my
creativity, but none of them actually went
home and did the same thing for themselves.
I discovered that, if I covered the
pool with a plastic tarp when I got out,
the bugs stayed away and I could use it
for a couple days before unloosing that
plug and letting the water flow out.
My little blue pool oasis was in my
backyard, a place no one could see from
the road. I've always preferred living
somewhere no one can constantly
observe what I'm doing, or even if I'm
home. I'm sort of a hermit, really.
So, imagine my surprise to return
home from a trip to Roanoke one
summer day, to find the backyard awash
in " pool " water, and the pool nowhere
to be seen. Yes! Someone had actually
gone to the great trouble of stealing my
little blue pool! Thank heavens, they left
my pink flamingo floater. Still, I wonder
to this day whether some Black Angus
cattle are slurping out of it, or whether
someone, somewhere, who desperately
wanted a backyard pool is now lolling
around in cold water. You're welcome,
you devious thief!
Today, it will hit 90 degrees here in
our normally cool little corner of Bath
County. I see a cold shower in my
future. No bathing suit necessary. 
To read more of Margo's adventures, order
her book, " A Party of One. " Call 540468-2147
Monday-Thursday from 9-5.
Or email: TheRecorderOffice@gmail.com.
http://www.co-opliving.com
Cooperative Living August 2018

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