Cooperative Living August 2023 - 30

RURAL LIVING
●●●●●●● Jehoshaphat!
by Margo Oxendine, Contributing Columnist
Clutches of crickets are confounding
F
irst off, I need
to correct
something
I blathered about
ignorantly a couple
of months ago, in my
column about how
I love turtles. If you move a turtle out of
the road, be sure to move it in the same
direction it was headed. Turtles, I guess,
are determined creatures, and will, by
golly, head right back the way they were
originally headed, ergo, back into the
road, if you don't.
So, keep the turtles moving in the
direction they want to go. There. That's
done. Now, onto another life form that
is neither cute nor likable in the least:
crickets.
I have had a clutch of crickets inside
my house these past two summers. If
some reader out there knows how to rid
a house of crickets, please let me know.
Right now, there is an almost biblical
plague of crickets in Elko, Nevada. I have
Tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun.
- The Beatles
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will receive a $25 Amazon email gift card.
been through Elko, and I
can tell you, there may be no
better place for crickets. It is
desolate and dreary. (And no, I do not
want to hear from you about its
attributes, if any.)
Millions - that's right, millions -
of crickets have invaded the town. They
cover the roadways and the sidewalks.
They fly into the hair and clothing of
the good citizens of Elko. The news the
other night showed them being shoveled
up with snow equipment. The crickets
were not deterred. And, apparently,
once they descend on a place, they
return for six years. Yes, years! Gah!
I will not forget the morning I
stumbled into my kitchen to make my
cappuccino. I turned on the machine,
made the confection, and brought it
into my office. But, as I went to drink it,
I felt something weird on my lips. My
mind knew what it was right away:
a drowned cricket. Yes, I was somehow
drinking a cricket cappuccino. The
cursed thing had managed to crawl into
my metal carafe and was hiding out
there. I can still feel it on my lips.
If you watch a travel or
cooking show, chances are, you
will see people eating crickets.
Yes! Can you imagine a ghastlier
thing? I sure can't. On a recent show,
an entomologist baked up a batch of
brownies. She sprinkled them with
crickets. The host of the show told her,
" Go ahead. Put more crickets on there! "
So, she ladled on a few more. The host
took a bite. You could see it on his face.
Ghastly. He kindly said, " Wow, these
brownies are moist. " He waited a beat,
and then opined, " And the crickets add
some crunch. " He somehow managed
to swallow.
I may never eat another brownie again.
There's an actual condition called
" entomophobia. " I think I may have it.
It is a fear of insects. I guess, most
especially, the fear of accidentally eating
one. I'm sure I have, unwittingly, but
I prefer not to think about it. 
To order a copy of Margo's " A Party of One, "
call 540-468-2147 Mon.-Wed., 9 a.m.-5 p.m.,
or email therecorderoffice@gmail.com.
28 ● Cooperative Living ●
August 2023
co-opliving.com
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Cooperative Living August 2023

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