Cooperative Living January 2018 - 19

Hope is essential;
it is all-important.
Hope allows people
to see that there is
a brighter tomorrow
beyond today.
"
I
feel like I'm alive again. I thought
I'd never see the old me again. But
I did, and I missed her so much, "
Candy O. recalls.
Due to a combination of underlying
medical issues and some major life
stressors, Candy's deep depression
came on suddenly and unexpectedly.
" It changed my life, " she says. " I had to
quit my job as a neuro nurse and stop
helping other people, so that I could try
and save myself. It was hard to function
with depression rearing its ugly head at
me every day. I fought hard, daily, and I
was so tired of always fighting. "
Candy knew what was happening to
her, but was helpless to harness it. " My
hunger vanished and I only ate when I
felt sick from not eating. Even then, that
was a task. I was dead inside. "
Her saving grace was an instinct
to help others. As the depression
drained her from the inside out, she
focused what little energy she had left
on filling others. Through her artistic
abilities, she gave small gifts of kindness,
encouragement and hope to those in
need. " I just kept focusing on spreading
kindness to other people when, in
retrospect, I was the one who probably
needed it the most, " she reflects.
One small gesture of kindness at a
time, Candy spread light to those
around her. But, on the inside, she
continued to silently fight the darkness.
www.co-opliving.com
hope
'You Are Not Alone'
" Inside, I was crying for help. I was
desperately trying to isolate myself. But,
still, I tried to do good - even when I
felt so bad, " she says.
In October, Candy was standing
among the crowd at an Out of the
Darkness Walk held in her community.
She knew she needed to be there, but
didn't hold much hope that it would help
her. " Hope was something I had to dig
really deep for during that time. I did
see glimmers of hope in the darkness,
but it was in the people around me, " she
explains. " I relied on my mother and my
husband to keep me safe. But I had to
be open with them. It was hard because
I knew it would hurt them, but I knew it
would hurt them even more if I shut
down and possibly lost the battle. "
Being surrounded by supporters at
the Out of the Darkness Walk deeply
impacted Candy. " I felt at home, like I
wasn't alone. There are so many who
suffer silently. Now that I can see clearer,
I want to go back to that day and hug
the people around me. I want to tell
them to trust themselves and their will
to live, and hold onto that so very
tightly. Even when it's all they have. "
Depression can happen to anyone. " It
caught me off guard. I had an amazing
kid, both my husband and I had good
careers, and it came right out of left
field. And I cracked. I quit my job and let
the anxiety run me over, " she says. It
stole her confidence and her joy for life,
sending her in a downward spiral.
Hope can come in many forms. For
Candy, it came in the form of faith. " It
was then that I reached for the Bible, "
she says. " Rome wasn't built in a day,
and I learned not to rush what God was
planning for me. "
Soon, light began to filter in through
the cracks of her feeling of brokenness.
A doctor heard her pleas for help - and
she was treated properly for her
underlying medical issues. " Once I
started treatment for my other health
issues, I felt like prayers were answered
and that I had another chance to live, "
she explains.
Candy says her message to those
struggling with depression is simple.
" You are not alone. When you're deep in
depression, you feel so very, very alone.
But you aren't. There is always a way
out. There is always hope. "
For More Information
https://afsp.org/walk (Click on the
homepage image to search through a
list of walks happening throughout the
state of Virginia.)
1-800-273-8255. The National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline is a national network
of local crisis centers that provides free
and confidential emotional support to
people in suicidal crisis or emotional
distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 
January 2018 | Cooperative Living | 17
PHOTO COURTESY OF SHIRLEY RAMSEY
https://www.afsp.org/walk http://www.co-opliving.com
Cooperative Living January 2018

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