Cooperative Living September 2016 - 42

Rural Living | by Margo Oxendine, Contributing Columnist
The Case of the Missing
Tuna Fish: Mystery Solved
I always loved 'tuna fish' sandwiches. They were among my top two
lunchbox faves.
I
always wanted to be a detective. My
father was a great one; of course, this
meant I could never, ever pull
anything over on him. But, I wanted
to follow in his footsteps and make
him proud.
The closest I got to being a detective
was as an investigative reporter. And,
with what little I had to " investigate "
around this rural locale, I did a pretty
good job. In fact, I won a first-place
national newspaper award for
investigative reporting. I went to
Disney World to receive my award;
I took Mom with me. That trip is a
fun column in itself, because we
somehow blundered into a federal
" sting " operation as soon as we
landed at the airport. But, that's
another story.
My investigative skills have gone to
waste as I've moved from hard-hitting,
hard-bitten reporter into happy,
frivolous columnist. I don't mind. As
we get older, some of us lose our
" edge " ; my sharp edges are sanded
down quite smoothly now.
I did, however, encounter a
puzzling mystery in my own home
shortly after returning from my last
hospital ordeal. I call it " The Mystery
of the Missing Tuna. " It perplexed me
for almost two months.
Here's what happened: A dear friend
who treks to Charlottesville every week
offered to pick me up some fabulous,
hard-to-find groceries. The delicacies
on my list included brie, plantains,
tarragon and fresh yellowfin tuna.
I always loved " tuna fish "
sandwiches. They were among my top
two lunchbox faves. Even as an adult,
living on my own, I always keep lots of
canned tuna around.
40 | Cooperative Living | September 2016
It wasn't until a few years ago that I
finally experienced the real thing: Fresh
yellowfin tuna, barely seared on each side,
bright pink in the center. Oh. My. It
quickly became one of my preferred
choices to fix for dinner, and not just
because it required very little
cooking. Just make sure the
iron skillet is smoking
on a red-hot burner,
drench the tuna
steaks with olive
oil, and drop
them in for a
minute on each
side. Sure, you
must open all
the kitchen doors
and windows, and
turn the fan on
high, but what a
delicious meal!
So, my friend got me
four tuna steaks on her
supermarket mercy trip. She wasn't
coming all the way to my house after, so
she packed them in ice and left them at
another friend's house. That second friend
was driving me to the surgeon for a checkup
the next day, so she ferried the
groceries to me that morning.
She trooped in carrying bags of
wonderful things. I hustled to put them
away before we left. I remember the $16
worth of fresh tuna, packed in plastic bags
of ice. I just don't remember putting it in
the freezer. As we left, I took all the bags
outside to the garbage can.
A week later, I was craving tuna. I
looked in the freezer. It was nowhere to be
found. I unpacked the filled freezer, and
looked at every darn thing. Nope. I did
discover a pork tenderloin I didn't
remember buying, but no tuna.
I considered the Mystery of the Missing
From time to time,
I've thought about that
darn tuna in the trash. Indeed,
I wondered shortly after
why the garbage can
smelled so bad.
Tuna for a couple days. Then, it hit me: I
had somehow stupidly tossed it out with
the trash. Who does such a thing? I may as
well have stood over the garbage can and
tossed in $5 bills. I felt quite foolish.
From time to time, I've thought
about that darn tuna in the
trash. Indeed, I
wondered shortly
after why the
garbage can
smelled so bad.
Finally, I
accepted my
foolish mistake.
The tuna is not
the first thing I've
stupidly tossed in
the trash. I once had
a Rolex watch that
needed adjustment. I
brought it home from the
jeweler in a small bag and,
somehow, in the flurry of putting away my
shopping, tossed the bag in the trash.
When I remembered it that night, I also
remembered the housekeeper had taken
away the trash that afternoon.
Yesterday, I remembered that pork loin.
I'd fix it for dinner. I took the frozen pink
block out of the freezer to thaw. I thought
about that tasty pork all day. Yum!
When I opened the thawed package,
what did I discover? The frozen pink block
was not pork, but the missing tuna! I
wasn't so nutty after all!
Another mystery solved. Maybe Daddy
would be proud. And, maybe not. 
To order Margo Oxendine's A Party
of One, email recorder@ htcnet.org,
or call 540-468-2147 Monday-Thursday
from 9-5.
www.co-opliving.com
http://www.co-opliving.com
Cooperative Living September 2016

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Cooperative Living September 2016
