Cooperative Living September 2020 - 42

Rural Living | by Margo Oxendine, Contributing Columnist
The Jaguar Preserve
And other good reasons to keep your
vacation ideas under control
T
his year, it would be a safe bet
not to take an adventure vacation.
Or any vacation, for that matter,
unless you stayed home. And, we've
all certainly done our share of staying
home, eh?
I have a penchant for travel
magazines. I love to page through them,
not that I really go anywhere exotic or
adventurous anymore. Especially these
days. I'm sort of glad to have an excuse
to stay home.
The most recent issue I received
of a national travel magazine was
devoted to " adventure travel. " Gee!
As difficult as it may be to put out a
travel magazine in these times, don't
they realize any attempt at travel
would be an " adventure " of sorts?
I laughed out loud at several
of the articles. First, it's not as if
they were promoting France or
Italy or Greek islands. No. They
were suggesting places like Bosnia
and Herzegovina, Mongolia, Siberia,
Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan. None of
these are places I would ever consider
vacationing. I mean, really: Kyrgyrzstan?
Who can even correctly pronounce it?
Several of the articles promoted
staying in tents. If I wanted to do that,
I would go to a nearby state park, thank
you. And, some of these " luxury " tents
cost upwards of $2,000 for a night or
two. In a tent? How luxurious could
a tent possibly be?
One article promoting bicycle trips
features a photo of two cyclists hunched
over their handlebars, pedaling across a
giant sand dune in the Namibian desert.
Uh, have you ever tried to pedal a bicycle
through sand? It's not a lot of fun; the
only adventure you can be almost
assured of is taking a tumble. I know;
I've been there and done that. Once
you pay $5,075, you're locked into this
dubious adventure for 12 long days.
In a story promoting Belize (not
the safest place for tourists, by the way),
your adventure can include " a night
hike through a jaguar preserve. "
40 | Cooperative Living | September 2020
That's an adventure I can live without.
From there, the adventure suggestions
get even more bizarre.
Let's say you have $20,000, plus airfare
of course, to spend on a vacation. Well,
call the oddly named " Black Tomato "
outfit. The blurb invites you to " channel
your inner Bear Grylls. " Black Tomato
will " drop you on the edge of the
Sahara, or above the Arctic Circle,
with 'a handful of supplies' ... and basic
directions to a pickup point. The rest
is up to you! "
They throw in a satellite phone,
though food is left unmentioned.
If you like hot weather, a $5,000,
15-day trip takes you to the Amazon,
the Andes and the Galapagos. " It
culminates with a night alone in a
cozy, but basic, tent ... on the slopes
of a dormant volcano. " Yikes! Keep
an ear tuned for faint rumblings.
" You can't take your phone; just a
journal to connect deeply with yourself. "
Maybe they'll find that journal near your
body ... after the volcano turns active.
Finally, there's the pricey " luxury
travel " company Brown and Hudson,
with " seven-day trips from $125,000. "
One trip is recommended for " those
overcoming trauma, or struggling to
make business decisions. "
" Clients are dropped into the
wilderness of Mongolia with a satellite
phone and basic provisions to last a
week. " No mention is made of a map.
Or a final destination. Good news,
though: When the trip concludes, " a
therapist is brought in to provide counsel
... The goal is to gain accelerated clarity
that would normally take months of
conventional therapy. "
You know, I'm glad I don't have to
ponder over a vacation somewhere
this year. These magical misery tours
guarantee you'll be perfectly content
to simply stay home. ■
To order Margo's book, " A Party of One, "
call 540-468-2147, Mon.-Thurs., 9-5, or
email TheRecorderOffice@gmail.com.
co-opliving.com
WherezIt?
Look for the CL logo, like the one here, in
the pages of each issue of Cooperative Living.
Let us know what page you find it on and
submit your answer, along with your name,
email and phone number, to WherezIt, c/o
Cooperative Living, P.O. Box 2340, Glen Allen,
VA 23058-2340 or go online at co-opliving.com
under " Contests. " The deadline for this
month's entries is Sept. 20. The winner will
receive an Amazon gift card for $25.
The CL in the July issue
was hidden on page 31.
Rebecca Riti of Denton, Md.,
is our WherezIt winner.
Congratulations, Rebecca!
WhatzIt?
Each issue, we will publish a photo of a familiar
but unidentified object. You are invited to make
your best guess and submit it in writing, along
with your name, email and phone number.
Either mail to WhatzIt?, c/o Cooperative Living,
P.O. Box 2340, Glen Allen, VA 23058-2340
or guess online at co-opliving.com under
" Contests. " The deadline for this month's
entries is Sept. 20. The winner will receive
a $25 Amazon gift card.
DO YOU
KNOW WHAT
THIS IS?
The July WhatzIt was a jellyfish.
Charles Seal of Luray, Va., is our $25 gift card
winner. Congratulations, Charles!
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Cooperative Living September 2020

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